SingBabySing

he hates me.

his lust...
i see it in his eyes:

he envisions hands

tightening around my neck.
...slowly.
he waits for me to quieten,

so his miseries can resound

over and over and over.
i can feel it...

his hate smothers me,

sucks me in,

makes me fall,

over and over.

he wants me to fade,
to go away,

because i can't love him.

he hates me.

Livin' in the moment
We were livin' in a lie
Unworthy of my torment
Laughing as I cry
Livin' in a dreamland
Livin' in numbed pain
Taking hold of your hand
Caused scars that will remain
Livin' in the darkness
That seeps into my soul
Too blind to even notice
My hate for you has grown
Livin' for a future
Destroyed by the past
Bruises seem to fade away
But memories -how they last.
Livin' in pure madness
Livin' for the hate
Your cry for redemption
A lifetime too late

I had to put the pictures away.

Does that lessen my love for you?

I don't feel like it...but, it makes me so sad.

It is so hard to see your pictures.

Or a shoe left behind, or some sort of toy...

I had to put everything away,

because I almost fall apart

at almost any reminder of you.



I feel so weak.

Why can't I remember,

and be happy?

I am lost and I am backward.

I don't know which way to turn...

I only have what I've seen and heard,

and that always seems to burn . . .

but I'm not giving up,

'cause I don't know how to give in.

I haven't had enough;

I know I've got to live.

My time has seemed so wasted . . .

The moments never last.

All the beauty I have tasted

just stays hidden with my past.

But I know that I can heal.

I choose which way to go.

I will find my something real,

and my strength will somehow grow . . .



I am lost and I am backward.

I know I've done all this before.

I am seen and I am heard,

but I'm needing something more.

When days are marked and numbered,

it's hard to move along.

I pray for peaceful slumber;

till then, I'll just keep keepin' on.

These days have seemed so useless;

life seems to fade away . . .

but my heart is so relentless -

I just can't sit and wait.

I have to find my way,

see where it may lead.

if only for today,

I'll have something to believe...